Little Johnny...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Why are you late? L-JOHNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on  the floor? L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"? L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I  spell it! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North  America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered  America? L-JOHNY: George! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago? L-JOHNY: Me! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty? L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write? L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by  biting insects? L-JOHNY: Don't bite any. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with  "I". L-JOHNY: I is... TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am." L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the  alphabet." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of  COINCIDENCE?" L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on  the sameday sametime." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down  his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you  know why his father didn't punish him?"  L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his  hand." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are  wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another  pair of the same at home *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a  donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? L-Johnny: Brotherly love. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say  prayers before eating? L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good  cook. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is  exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on  talking when  people are no longer interested? L-Johnny : A teacher